The Time My Swim Coach Reminded Me to “Surrender to the Wave!”

I joined the Grayson Valley Swim Team in the sixth grade, totally new to the world of competitive swimming. I’d always loved being in the water, floating, swimming underwater, and playing mermaids, but that kind of leisure swimming didn’t prepare me for what I was about to learn. Suddenly, things like stroke form, breathing patterns, and even body hair mattered. Every detail counted. Every second shaved off could be the difference between finishing strong and finishing last.

At first, I thought joining the team would just mean learning the basic strokes, backstroke, breaststroke, freestyle, and butterfly. But I quickly realized swimming was about so much more than technique. It was about breath, strength, focus, power, and something I didn’t expect: surrender.

My coach noticed early on that I had what he called a “natural form.” I was strong for my age, so he decided to put me in the butterfly heat for my very first race. We were competing against the Mountain Brook Swim League, and I was nervous, beyond nervous, really. The kids in the lanes beside me had been swimming for years, and I’d only just learned to swim for fun the summer before.

We lined up, the whistle blew, and I dove in. Butterfly takes everything you’ve got: full-body power, controlled breathing, and a clear and steady focus. The water turned with waves from all the swimmers, and about three-quarters through, I lost my rhythm. I swallowed a mouthful of water and started to panic. It felt like I was drowning.

Through the chaos, I heard my coach yell, “Surrender to the wave!”

Those words shifted everything.

He wasn’t just telling me how to survive that race; he was teaching me how to survive life. “Surrendering” meant relaxing my body and trusting the water to lift me instead of fighting against it. The more I struggled, the harder it became to breathe. But when I stopped resisting, my body rose naturally to the surface.

That’s the paradox of swimming, and of life. When you’re caught in a strong wave, your instinct is to fight, to kick, to push back against the current. But that resistance only drains your energy, heightens your panic, and pulls you under faster.

Seasoned swimmers, lifeguards, and coaches all teach the same principle: go with the wave, not against it. Let it carry you for a moment, then use its momentum to move forward. Relax your body, conserve your breath, and trust the rhythm of the water; it always pauses between its pulls.

Physically, surrender helps you align with natural forces instead of battling them. Mentally, it transforms panic into awareness and control into cooperation. And in that surrender, whether in the water or in life, survival becomes possible.

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Why Surrender is Important to Our Mental and Emotional Health

You see, the act of surrender isn’t about giving up; it’s about yielding intelligently. In the water, as in life, it means recognizing that some forces are larger than our immediate power to control. By releasing resistance, the nervous system shifts from fight-or-flight to rest-and-recover, allowing clarity, oxygen, and rhythm to return.

That psychological shift, from panic to presence, can be lifesaving. It reframes chaos as movement, and not as destruction.

Surrendering to the Wave of Grief, Depression, and Anxiety

Emotional waves have a similar likeness to ocean waves: they rise, crest, and recede. Trying to “fight” grief, suppress sadness, or deny anxiety often pulls us deeper into exhaustion. When we instead allow ourselves to feel, cry, rest, and breathe through the pain, we let the emotion pass through instead of letting it drown us.

• In grief, surrender means acknowledging that pain is part of love, allowing tears and memories to flow without judgment.

• In depression, it can mean ceasing the internal battle to “fix” everything, and instead turning inward with compassion, letting stillness and slowness be a form of healing.

• In anxiety, it can mean noticing the current, the racing thoughts, the tight chest, and softening around it, trusting that the wave will eventually settle.

Like the swimmer, we survive emotional turbulence not by overpowering it but by moving with it, learning to float, to breathe, and to trust the return of the calm.

The Rhythm of Surrender

What I have come to understand is that both physically and psychologically, surrender teaches us rhythm, humility, and resilience.

The ocean, and our emotions, are reminders that power isn’t always in control, but in cooperation. 

To surrender is to remember:

“I am not separate from the wave; I am part of the water.”

So as you continue to navigate the “waves” of life, I invite you to surrender to the wave, to trust the rhythm of what’s unfolding, release the need to fight every current, and allow yourself to be carried toward a clarity, calm, and strength you didn’t know you had.

Below are a few affirmations to help guide you when you are surrendering to the wave…  

• “I trust the rhythm of what moves through me.” 

  I do not need to fight every wave; I can let it rise, carry me, and pass. Peace returns to me with each breath.

• “I release resistance and allow myself to be held.” 

  When I soften, I float. When I breathe, I rise. My calm is stronger than any current.

• “I honor every emotion as energy in motion.” 

  Grief, fear, and joy are all waves of the same sea. I welcome them, knowing each one is my teacher, showing me how to live more fully and deeply.

• “Surrender is not weakness; it is wisdom.” 

  By yielding, I align with the flow of life. I am learning to move with the tide instead of against it.

Fanicy Sears, LPC-S, LMFT, NCC

Clinical Director

eMotion Therapy, LLC

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